Hypothetically

Watch "Hypothetically by Lyfe Jennings ft. Fantasia" on YouTube
This blog posting includes a link for the song hypothetically. Some of the world's most critically asked questions are the ones asked hypothetically. It's easy for us to assume our response to a situation that we've never been in. Or to believe that based on what we understand of the situation, that we would be able to figure the steps to resolution from there. However, life never fails to teach us that as human beings we often overestimate our personal ability. The song "hypothetically" touches base with this idea. This cleverly enchanting duet reveals life in its purest most controversial form. I believe that its one of those songs that is more experienced than listened to. It threatens to peel us away from the false pretenses we love to escape our world in. Forcing us back into the driver's seat of reality, as it takes real life possibilities and paints them across you're heart. The edgy vocals that perfectlycompliment the monotone of the melody aid to create a picture in you're mind as to just what the situations would probably be if the things being asked hypothetically were happening actually. In lieu of my most recent life experience I have to readily admit this song has put alot of things into perspective for me. It has allowed me the ability to let go of things, that prior to listening to this I was reluctant to let go of. I'm growing and as I am I becoming prepared to venture into the parodox that is my future.

A Thinker's Thoughts

Throughout the existence of this blog site, I've been dealing with a sort of plaque in a sense. A lingering tidbit of disenchantment. One that I continuously make vague references to indirectly. Yet, never have been quite able to mention out right. Its for this omission of information both blatant and indirectly that this site exist at all. It has become inadvertantly my literary passion. The perpetual fuel, for both my literary conquest as an author as well as searching the subconscious of myself within myself for answers. There exist method to this madness however.
This "thing" and/or plaque I've been dealing with is the separation from my wife pending an inevitable divorce. My reluctance to mention it out right serves as a combination of a few different things. Primarily, the fact that naturally when our separation began I went through the stages of grief. I was introduced to a pain unlike any other I had ever known. A pain that no matter how intricately orchestrated the cover I attempted to apply, would always surface. Surface then consume me entirely, a piercing scream absorbing the silence of personal thought. It was this infused with my reluctance to file divorce and my unwithering desire to deliver journalism depleted of premeditated bias. That prevented me from making mention of this catastrophically life changing event in prior post. Taking that cross referring it with the relentless hope for reconciliation and the uncertainty of what she wanted to do. Made for the recipe for a disastrous post. Equipped with the character defermating slander and name callling that births these types of situations. Being young with barely any life experience, let alone marriage. One could only scratch the surface of position in this matter. I (nearly a year in) still can't formulate an adequate enough to describe what instantaneously transpired emotionally. The closest I can come up with is it's like being lost in you're own livingroom. Immediately, everything about life as you know it becomes different. As if suddenly you're staring at the world through perscription glasses that clearly can't be for you. Naturally. you're hopeful that this is merely a phase and that the two of you can endure and overcome this together. Like soo many things prior leading up until this point. After a period of time this hope transgresses to become anticipation. Waking up wondering if "today" will be the day the person you love most in the world will wake up and realize they love you too. Mathis gives way to desperation, cross referring in you're mind where you went wrong or what's left to try that you haven't already; to bring back a sense of normality to you're life. Yet, it's usually not until all of these cycles (for me anyway) pan out completely that you realize, alot of that pain and anguish was unnecessary. That there exists a portion you brought on yourself. That throughout this ordeal there lived a choice that was you're own to make. The choice of weather you was going to continue to fight. Rendering yourself completely vaunerable to the emotional scaring inflicted by the other person involved. Or to be done with it once and for all. Being alone doesn't make you a quitter, nor does it make you weak, or insensitive. Actually, its quite the contrary. It allows for you to become aware of the sacrifices you've made to you're commitment. which inadvertently gives you a clue to your selfworth. Which should lead you to make one final choice. Wheather, you're willing to stay and fight with them for them. Or are you going to walk away and fight for you.

Truth Hurts

There are specific variables and/or aspects of life that it fails to be apprehensive with. Irregardless of the reasoning blatant or indirectly as to why you're being apprehensive. Yet, there exist intricacies that serve as an inadvertent catalyst to the extent; as to how bad the repercussions may or may not become. For instance, if the reasoning behind your apprehension is fear or rebellion. There will become obsticles that may prohibit your growth in areas significant to those aspects. Rendering things blatantly obvious that there is due need for necessary adjustment on your behalf. Which is natural I'm learning to understand as I read "The Purpose Driven Life" due to Gods method of teaching us as we grow at the pace of our allowed freewills allowance. However, there also exists instances where it just honestly isn't up to you. Instances where no matter how many times you may make seemingly necessary adjustments to self. Or inquire to others for direction after arriving at your wits end with fathomable solutions. All to redefine your self to the specifications that fit the instance of this specific element to the extent of no longer being able to recognize the element you present. Creating the blatantly obvious conclusion that there exist some lesson in the element your missing. That there just may be too much "YOU" in the element entirely. That the time has arrived in the element for you to step back allow for the spirit of you to decrease for the spirit of HIM to increase within. Then as the situation unfolds make decisions based upon the fragments that befall the situation as they may. Naturally this ipiphany is one at which you easily arrive. I for one (just as human as the free world) am living proof that it takes work. Thank heaven I received through my journey  the powerful evangelism of the great Carrie Odom, and Joe "Tootsie" Odom. The enchantingly uplifting literary triumph "The Purpose Driven Life" By superpower minister Rick Warren, and the biblical blessing that is minister Todd Cook. Otherwise I have no earthly clue where I'd be. As I'm living, learning, and growing I'm coming to recognize for myself. That life is a learning experience, that every instance of every possible aspect provides the the essential room for growth. Growth, on whatever realm of life in which you choose to experience it. As I'm also familiarizing myself with the notion that life is lived in layers. Layers, in a sense of various aspects of perceptions. I in all openhearted honesty, am without a clue as to where god is taking me on this journey in which I'm currently embarked. I have also (admittedly) lost sight of relevance of various specific elements, as I'm relentlessly propelled towards utter submittance to my creator. I am however under the impression that this blog along with whatever from which may transpire. Is for a purpose that's just beyond me at the moment. What I am one hundred percent sure of inspite of all things, is the fact that within it lives my testimony. An eloquently transpired literary account of my path to triumph. Who knows maybe this will become the biginning stages of my ministry, or atleast a great tell all book. Yet, regaurdless of what it is or may be, I know that with my God first it claim nothing short of greatness. I look forward as I let myself go, falling freely head first into the paradox that is the journey of my purpose. In faith there exist substance to the scripture " All things work together for good, for those that love god." Encouraged that there is strength, truth, and healing in that word as well as in the spirit of him that lives in me.

Tearstained Epiphany

There are specifically structured, intricately engineered elements, in existence within our realm of life unlike any other. The being of this element, sometimes presents itself in a form that excites your every mental stimulant. Rendering within you an urge that the less experienced of our species will easily mistake to be infatuation. Some may blindly write it off as an obsession of sorts. Yet, it isn't until you begin to peel away at the layers of this element. Simultaneously stepping away from it, an the magnetic energy that appears to propel you towards it. That you actually begin to recognize it for what it is past all it's ever appeared to be. Within doing so, I personally believe we become enabled to receive epiphanic realizations. Which upon becoming able to except them for what they truly are, in spite of what they may appear to be now, our what they may have appeared to have been momentarily throughout past instantces. However, its within allowing yourself to arrive at these revelations you learn what it was destined for you to learn. For those of us struggling with an egotistical, over zealous, rebellious nature. Infused with childish stubbornness, and the relentlessness not to be forced to submit to the fact that "life is only what you to make it." When that moment arrives that you except that enough is truly enough. That although you may not be able to control this element. Or the situations that this element has proved to you that its prone to create. The moment off Epiphany mentally floors you. A period of defeated loss of purpose generally follows, and its within the subsiding of this that we learn we are broken. Yet, although many us may misunderstand this moment of brokeness as something we should fear. I'm blessed to say, its actually quite the contrary, it's one to embrace. For it's within this broken state that HE who sent us, is able to step in and renew our mortal bodies to become geared for a spiritual uplifting. That once digested and submitted to after submitting to the defeat there of. One becomes aware of as well as enlightened to the fact that growth has taken place. Promoting the overall significance of every intricate aspect of the situation that envelopes that growth leading to a natural empowerment of self.
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A Purpose Driven Post

Lately I've been reading the literary triumph "A Purpose Driven Life" by the revolutionary minister Rick Warren. The book takes you on a 40 day journey, through life's most promising biblical truths. Infused with countless scriptures and biblical accounts relative to life as we live it on a daily basis. I find it to be one of those reads that you run accross that changes your personal perspective on life. It helps one to put a positive biblical handle on the uncertainties that we struggle to try and figure on our own. In the book (Warren) compares human life to an invention that we as human beings don't have even the slightest idea how to work. Thankfully we have an instruction manual (our bible) and the ability to ask the inventor (god) through prayer. It teaches of the importance of rooting yourself in faith. Of trusting and believing in our creator and every promise that he left for us to discover in his word. It also teaches that one of our main focuses in life is to learn to know and understand the founded principle of love. That we are created for love to love our creator unconditionally as well as loving one another. It explains how the holy trinity itself is already the example of love in perfect harmony. So that god didn't necessarily have to great us but he did inspite of so that he could see his love manifested in his creation. He teaches the importance of relationships and community and their meanings beyond what's popularly believed by society. All and all its a great read, in my personal opinion one that should be encountered by everyone the world over. I also believe its one of the book that should be reread every five years of your life. As new understandings are discovered in your life. I find this book, its author, and its story as it unfolds to be a timeless classic, a beacon of literary accomplishment. One that gives as much to the spiritual elements of the reader as to the physical.

CryCay357

This post is inspired by a new album I've been listening to. Coming off my recent hiatus the new Neyo album "RED" has captured this little heart of mine. Its composed of ballad that are seemingly from multiple genres all of which capture that timeless Neyo musical appeal. Yet, there's this one song in particular that helped me piece together the body of this post. The song titled "Alone With You" is one of those songs that the lyrics complement the melody soo well, that if you listen to it trapped in thought there will be part where you can't breath. I encourage all who haven't heard it already to look it up on YouTube and find out what you've been missing. Its truly a depth defying ballot.
Most importantly of all this post is for YOU, because although it's written in plain English its written in a language only we understand. So it has to be for you the 24/7 to my 365.

Remember us,
Rather me,
Or the "we",
We we used to be,
Happiness,
Blanketed by the perception,
You was who HE sent to me,
Struggling,
To become who we are,
Lost,
In who we couldn't be,
Masked,
By who we shouldn't be,
Emotional shilvary,
Becoming,
The most intricate style of me,
Birthed,
By the depth of the love in you,
Lost,
In the realm of the child in me,
Tearstained glasspanes,
Decorate,
The walls of the heart in me,
Creating,
The void of loosing you,
Destroying,
The sense of pride in me,
Living,
In the memory of what used to be,
Fueled,
By all that's died in me,
After,
All I've cried for you,
All,
that's left inside of me,
Is,
The love I hide for me,
Sorry......

Peace be still

Often times here on Mindmaintenance blog I make the the absent minded mistake, of labeling myself as the mental mechanic. Although, I am the publishing author I am no more than the main tool in the Mindmaintenance process. Greatfully, surrendering myself to be used as a vehicle to deliver the message of HIM who sent me. If you are an avid follower of the site and and my writings, you are well aware of the fact:  more time has elapsed between this post and the last than usual. Reason being, I too; like the site and many of you who follow it, am under constant construction. As touched on in prior postings, spiritual warfare is very real and ever current. Despite the fact that at this point its a fixed fight, because our creator has already claimed this victory for us. The adversary is STILL extremely busy trying to steal both the glory and the souls of us as believer's. Its usually as we are at the threshold of a breakthrough, or standing in the doorway of deliverance that the attack is the strongest. The adversary lacking the ability to be omnipresent, uses certain things, people, and/or situations to keep us confused and afraid. Causing for us to allow ourselves to become blind to what's happening, by what he leads us to believe is going on. For in doing so it creates the perfect platform for the adversary to still the salvation destined to the believer. Yet through the omnipotent grace of God, we as believers possess the spiritual authority to rebuke the enemy and claim our victory.
Over the last few months (nearly a year) I've been going through some turmoil in my life. The enemy's been really busy in my situation too. After soo long of this pressing situation infused with the troubles of everyday life, the climax was inevitable. When it arrived,although it didn't arrive in a way I would've liked. It was so well needed and delivered I. such great timing, the deliverance it encouraged was staggering. I was blessed with the oppertunity to step far enough away from what I thought was happening, that I found the ability to see what was going on. What o found, is that there is blessing hidden in some uncertainties, masked by the confusions of this world, blanked by the deception of the enemy. That blessing I believe was my own spiritual growth. The ability for me to see what was required of me inspite me.I began to see things with a clearity that could've come from HIM who sent me. Thankful, I emerge, empowered I surface, ready to claim the victory that's been destined for me. Fueled by the spirit of conviction,  I thank God for granting me this moment of clearity.